By Grace McCormick
It’s fan food, not fast food. While that’s not exactly McDonald’s slogan, fans of McDonald’s will be happy to hear that McDelivery is currently available at more than 3,000 McDonald’s locations in the United States. That’s right. Not just delivery. McDelivery.
In January of 2017, McDonald’s partnered with UberEats, a corporation similar to Waiter On The Way. Disappointingly, UberEats is not available in Fort Wayne, but it is available in Indianapolis, East Chicago, Fishers, Gary and Hammond, as well as big cities in Michigan, Ohio and Illinois.
If you ever stay in a city where UberEats is available (check on https://about.ubereats.com/en/cities/), just lie around your room, don’t get up to eat breakfast at a local restaurant or tour the cultural gems of the city that you are in. Don’t even get up to shower. Get down with something good, get McDonald’s delivered to your door. Although you should meet the UberEats deliverer at the hotel entrance by his car so his car doesn’t get towed, maybe he’ll value serving customers more than keeping his car and give the food to the front desk, who will then proceed to have room service bring you your food.
If you stay at a house or a condo in a location that hosts UberEats, the driver will park his car and bring the food to you. For the lazy people who have the inability to drive to any of the 14,146 McDonald’s restaurants in the United States, or the lack of energy to go to any Walmart or gas station that has a mini McDonald’s built in, a hotel is probably not the best place to have fast food delivered to, since that requires actually getting up and walking a number of feet to get your food.
Lucy Brady, senior vice president of corporate strategy at McDonald’s, said in the second quarter earnings summary on July 25th that “stores near college locations tend to do much better than others” when it comes to delivery.
Everyone knows that the thing college students need right before a big test is McDonald’s, but those students obviously do not have time to drive to the nearest McDonald’s because they cannot be late for that test. The only logical thing for them to do is go to the UberEats app, select the McDonald’s food that they want, type in their delivery address and wait for the food to arrive, while they cram as much information into their heads as possible for that test we know they all spent days and nights studying for.
But after patiently waiting for their testing necessity, the delivery doesn’t show up in time. Alas, the fast food is not fast enough! So the deprived college students begin to walk to class without McDonald’s in their hand, but on their way, they spot a man get out of his car and open the backseat door to reveal beautiful colors of red and yellow and glorious golden arches. They run, faster than they have ever run before, and quickly reach the UberEats driver who is now surrounded by a mob of hungry college students, each one hoping that the driver holds their order in his hands.
Then, dozens of UberEats drivers, all of whom carry McDonald’s deliveries, arrive at the campus, one after another. The smarter students know they will never find their driver in the midst of this hungry mob in time, so they dash to class. The not-so-smart students sift through the crowd of people and cars, studying each license plate to try to find the car with their food in it. The hungry students disperse, few of them have their food. The students walk away sad, the drivers drive away frustrated, and McDonald’s wonders why they have received bad reviews from who they thought were their most enthusiastic audience.
A happier scenario is: you are planning a wedding and there is a burden on your shoulders, so you try to prioritize. Send out the invitations, look for the golden arches, map out the seating arrangements, ask Mayor McCheese to perform the ceremony, tell the bridesmaids what type of dress they need to wear, make a list of the songs that absolutely must be played, oh, and then there’s the food. Weddings are expensive, but McDonald’s is not. At McDonald’s, a 20-piece Chicken McNugget, two Big Macs, three medium fries and three medium beverages, combined, costs only $14.99. At McDonald’s, a 40-piece Chicken McNugget costs only $8.99. If some friends attending the wedding claim to be vegetarian, they can eat 60% of the Chicken McNugget, since, according to NPR, only 40% of the makeup of Chicken McNuggets is considered meat.
You deserve a break today. Make your wedding planning less stressful and give the bride and groom the happiest meal of their lives, by having McDonald’s delivered to your wedding location through UberEats.
When you’ve had a bad day and you want nothing more than to lie down and watch Netflix, maybe you browse the documentary category and you come across “The Founder” and you read the description: “after a fateful encounter with the McDonald brothers, struggling salesman Ray Kroc becomes driven to change the way hamburgers are made and sold”. You feel the power of Ronald McDonald compel you, and you suddenly have to watch “The Founder”, with McDonald’s in your hand of course. There’s no better way to get McDonald’s than from UberEats.
McDelivery is perfect for any event, be it a college party, wedding, funeral, birthday party, family reunion, a celebration of being vegan, a showing of “The Founder”, or just a normal Saturday night. McDelivery will bring happiness and happy meals, and of course, you’ll get fries with that.
Driving to the nearest McDonald’s can be a real pain, even if it’s the closest thing to home. The workers don’t want to be there and they have no interest in helping you get your food quickly, the restaurant might be crowded, and the trip overall just won’t be worth it. Eat out without going out of your way. Have someone else make the trip, and get your fast food delivered to your doorstep at uber speed.
If you’ve ever been to a McDonald’s and your experience was not what you were hoping for, try McDelivery, because combining lousy restaurant service, fast food, and an independent delivery organization with a deliverer who prefers to drive around boxes of fast food instead of people will most likely end in success and happiness, you’ll be lovin’ it.